It has been two months since we found out about Jack's Trisomy 13. Most days it feels like it's been years since our new life. Our new normal. We went from thoughts of "Will it be a boy?!" to "Will he live past tomorrow?!" I had a brain full of room arrangements, nursing details, cloth diaper aspirations, clothing prep, kindergarten wonders with a summer baby, family dynamic curiosities with two brothers so close in age, and all those sweet day dreams one has when starting a new life milestone. And then all at once none of those thoughts were relevant. I went from researching nursery decor to researching heart defects. I think I had a feeling we would still be here together in two months. I know my husband did.
It has been such a roller coaster of emotions. Not really ups I guess, but lots of downs and oks. Back and forth. God has kept us sane. Our babies have kept us sane. And definitely Jack has kept us sane. He is still in there fighting. Deserving of love. Moving forward. And so shall we.
What will the next two months bring? I can pretty much guess they will be more difficult than the last two. No matter their path. The next two months will bring forth a lot more answers and even more questions Im sure.
Jack's heart rate was great at 141 this week. I also took my glucose test, but haven't received the results yet. Ive never had to go back for a second test, but I'm worried this time. I just feel so low energy. Like I went from my first trimester straight into my third.
The doc also talked about the reasons to induce at 38 weeks. This is hard for me. I had my first two kids at 41 weeks and am pretty stubborn about letting mine cook till they're ready. I understand the differences for Jack. I understand birth weight is helpful, but I get the other side as well. Hopefully at our ultrasound in a week we will get a size estimate and percentage. Dr C really expressed to me the horribleness of a stillbirth and said that she really wants me to have a live birth and it is believed 38 weeks can get that better. I can do 38. Not 36 unless something is wrong. But yes 38 Ill do. I kept saying to her IF we get there. She said she is hopeful and looking towards 38 and itll come quick. I thought that was sweet. There just have been so many losses around 33 weeks in my Trisomy Mommy FB group. :-/ Im super nervous.
1. OB checks every 2 weeks
2. Children's Mercy in late May for our meeting with ultrasound, OB, anesthesiology, Perinatology, cardiology, neonatology, genetics, and social work to discover more about Jack's specific needs and decide if we may want to deliver at CM.